it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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