I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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