you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize