things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
