Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You ruined the universe
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
