So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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