end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
