oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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