do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
