i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
