Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
