scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We have started to decorate penises.
I didn't notice because vodka
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
50% drunk capacity currently
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
