I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
