at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I see more hoeing in ur future
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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