She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
