Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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