i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
