do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
