I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
