for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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