the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
BRING THE BAGELS
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