Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
