He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
