Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
