Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Your penis caused this!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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