So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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