its not stalking. its research.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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