I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
