Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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