I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
