Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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