I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
420 ftw
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
