HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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