where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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