Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
