My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
