Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
