we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
