yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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