It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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