Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize