My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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