Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
