So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
