i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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