i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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