I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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