We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
