I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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