I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
