i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize