is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize