Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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