somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
