How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
