I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
