I'm gonna have a badass scar
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
