I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
