I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
